To Move or Not

A decision is required of me, soon, as to whether I move away or stay.  I am so torn between the two and for different, yet powerful reasons.

I’ve always wanted to live down south.  I’ve always felt like my spirit belonged there.  I enjoy the warm weather and keeping my windows open and letting the fresh air blow inside my home.  It’s a peaceful thing for me.  Winter denies me of that peace due to the cold air.  On the other hand, winter, despite it’s cold, carries a beauty with it that I cannot deny and I fear I would miss if I moved to the south.  Even now, near Christmas I find myself wondering where the snow is?  I find myself wanting it to snow.  To look out my window and seeing the snow covering the trees, the ground and everything else with it’s quiet beauty.  I look forward to shoveling the driveway, a ritual that requires me to leave the house and actually work at something.  I must be loosing my mind!

I had used this program called WorldWind that is an interactive atlas of the world, complete with correct topographical info, in order to find a place that I found very appealing to me.  After my trip with my dad a few years ago down to Kentucky, I felt a very strong urge to go back.  Ever since then I have pondered the idea of moving there.  WorldWind allowed me to find a place that looks like it would fill that hole inside me of where I need to be.

Asheville, North Carolina.  It’s a Lansing sized city nestled at the bottom of the Appalacian Mountains.  A river runs through the city as well.  I turned to the internet for any information about the city I could find and found that it is indeed one of the most beautiful places in the USA.  Many people have moved there because of it’s natural environment.  Indeed, National Geographic labeled the place as the “New Mecca” of spirituality.

I want to move there, terribly but I’m beset on all sides by other issues that prevent me from doing so.  One is money.  I have since stopped making payments on this house.  I have money saved but not nearly enough to both move and move into a place.  The problem I have with this house is too complicated to explain but let me just say that I was misled when I moved here.  Had I stayed where I was, I wouldn’t be in this predicament.  Then, of course, there’s the whole weight of leaving all my family behind and setting off on my own.  I would miss out on my nieces and nephews achievements and not be able to be “Uncle Jimmy”.

I think the bottom line though is that I would move in a heartbeat if I had the resources to sustain me for a month or two.  I’d take a cheap apartment, pay in advance for all my utilities and then use the rest of the money for food and transportation while I look for work.  Great plan, solid and very doable… I just don’t have the money.  It is this very reason why I have not looked for work up here in Michigan, because I want to leave.  I don’t wish to lock myself into another contract like I had for the last 3 years.

Insert: January 08, 2007
One morning I woke up and decided that I was not going to move away.  I soul searched and thought, and considered beforehand and told everyone with conviction that I was going to leave but I’m not.  It’s not even so much that I have changed my mind, but more like the path that I have been following has diverged a different path.  The time to move has passed on and now I will be doing something else.  I will be moving, that’s no doubt, but just not far away like North Carolina or Kentucky at least not yet.

~ by aeroslin on December 18, 2006.

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