What do I want?

What do I want in life?  I’m pretty satisfied with what I do for a living right now.  I think the place I work is great.  I’m not out to make tons of money, though looking at my quickly growing bank account makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.  I love getting a pat on the back by people and being told I did a good job.  That’s what really makes me smile.  I strive to be good at what I do.  I enjoy the feeling of being integral to the team.  I dislike laziness but I also appreciate efficiency.  I really dislike doing the same thing over and over again.  Monotony is my biggest enemy.  That’s why I get self-destructive. It foments chaos in my life in order to deal with the monotony of it.

As I’ve been sitting here contemplating this question it came to me that all the things I like I would do if I actually had someone around to do them with.  I’m going camping this weekend because my mom and two sisters and their kids are all going and I know it’s going to be a fun time.  But try going camping alone.  Try going for a walk alone.  Riding your bike alone  Fishing alone.  Granted some of these activities are really solo but there would be more incentive for me to do these things if there was someone to do them with.  I know the things that I like to do alone and without interruption.  I’ve spent a great deal of time enjoying that entertainment.  I definitely like to be introspective and meditative, ie, being left alone but I would enjoy some company more often then not, now.

I am no longer a religious person, in fact, I’m against religion in it’s most common forms.  This is important to me.  If you feel the same way then you’re already proven to be a person that uses their brain and you are the type of person I’m interested in.  If you’re Pagan or Wiccan, I’d certainly like to talk with you.  If your a Deist or an Atheist, you’ve got my attention.  If your a christian woman with some idealistic concept of converting me then you can piss off.  I’ve had that christian bullshit shoved down my throat for long enough.

That’s something else about me.  I have attitude.  I’ve lost friends because of it and started fights because of it.  Now that I’m a little older I have managed to refine it a bit and direct that attitude towards things that need it and away from things that don’t.

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~ by aeroslin on June 29, 2007.

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