“If you had kids you’d think differently”

I’ve heard that statement many times. I’m a single man, no kids. I have lots of nieces and nephews. According to most parents, however, that isn’t enough to have any valid opinion about how parents should be raising their kids. I believe their opinions on this are wrong.

As our civilization has evolved and my generation has aged, I’ve noticed that whole, ‘helicopter parent’ concept go ape-shit crazy. One example of this was an old acquaintance who bore the child of her recently deceased boyfriend. He died in a car crash. When her daughter reached the age of 16, she utterly forbid her from learning how to drive. She said that she wouldn’t allow it until she reached the adult age of 18 when the choice wasn’t hers to make anymore. I wholeheartedly disagreed with her choice but her only response to me was [insert blog title]. So, now we have an 18 year old girl on the roads with 2 years less experience than others drivers at 18.

An interesting concept in the world of law is how sometimes conflicts of interest play out. Very simply, if a lawyer or a judge is somehow related to the plaintiff or defendant in a case, they are strongly encouraged to recuse themselves from making any judgments about it. The reason behind this is simple: bias. When a judge or lawyer are emotionally wrapped up in a case, their ability to objectively view the case is thrown out the window. They are seen as unable to be reasonable or fair.

That is the point I’m getting to. Emotions. Emotions make us unreasonable. Objectivity disappears. When emotions drive parenting, all ability to be reasonable or objective are gone. Parents, in their, albeit noble desire to keep their kids safe, are all too willing to erect a cage around them. When outsiders, mainly those without kids, see such a sad thing happen and speak up about it, we get, [insert blog title]. I won’t deny that they’re correct. I likely would think differently if I had kids of my own. I know I would be protective of them. I know that emotion would take hold of me and what the outcome would be, I don’t know. What I do know is this: Kids need a large sandbox to play in. They don’t need cages. They need to be taught right from wrong, it’s not very difficult. They need to be trusted. Mother birds don’t teach their kids how to fly, they trust that because they have wings, they fly.

Life is cruel and unfair. I get it, we want to protect the kids from it but in doing so, we ironically prevent them from living.

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~ by aeroslin on July 5, 2012.

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